The Price Others Pay
by howardtduck48
Summary: AU 1x06. Kate Beckett: "You're not going to get shot and you know why? Because you are going nowhere near the gunfire." DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything from the TV series CASTLE


**Author's Note: (UPDATED: Spelling corrections and a few minor sentence alterations. Nothing significant.)**

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><p>Detective Ken Loach and Detective Victor Yglesias gave each other the silent signal before they stepped through the next doorway in the warehouse and scanned in opposite directions for any sign of their targets. There was none, so Loach gave a different silent signal to Detective Javier Esposito and Detective Kevin Ryan behind them and the two partners stepped through the doorway to advance the sweep. Just as Detective Katherine Beckett was about to follow she heard a child's voice behind her calling "Dad! Dad! Dad!" Shocked, she turned to see a sheepish Richard Castle poised on tiptoe, staring back at her wearing that stupid vest marked "Writer" that she had just told him he would not need, cursing himself for not turning his phone to silent before disobeying Detective Beckett's order and entering the building.<p>

Before either Castle could take his phone from his pocket to answer it or Beckett could hiss at him to turn around and go back outside a shot then another rang out on the far side of the door. There was a truncated grunt, a hoarse shout and the air filled with the sound of automatic gunfire as the officers in the raid sought cover and returned fire, often simultaneously. Instantly dismissing Castle from her immediate attention, Beckett moved forward to join her team, finding cover and seeking the targets they had been hoping to catch by surprise.

The shooting lasted nearly five minutes at the end of which four persons of interest were no longer showing any signs of motion and Detective Yglesias was curled over his partner, cradling Loach to his chest, not caring as the blood from the hole in Ken's head funnelled around his vest, onto his shirt, pants, shoes. Nor did Yglesias care about the tears running down his cheeks, the keening howl beginning to rise in his throat. Detective Ken Loach was beyond caring about anything.

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><p>Minutes earlier, before joining the battle she had hoped wouldn't eventuate, Detective Beckett was talking into her radio, calling for reinforcements and a paramedic team, using those two words that all on the force dreaded to hear - "Officer down!" She hadn't seen the body, had no idea who had been hit, but that truncated grunt was already etched into her mind, a sound still present in her memory from the first time she had been on a raid. As she moved to join the firefight she hoped this time the outcome would be different.<p>

Now, as she glanced at a somber Ryan and Esposito standing nearby then moved her gaze to Yglesias cradling Loach's body, that familiar ache resurfaced. She knew what lay ahead, for herself and for others. The outcome had been no different. Only the people paying the price were.

A small organic sound, a cross between a sob and a groan, broke her reverie. She looked up to see Ryan and Esposito staring at something behind her and spun to see Richard Castle sprawled on the ground near where he had been recently standing on tiptoe, one arm keeping him from allowing his head to crash heavily against the concrete, his legs moving, struggling vainly to bring him to his feet or at least a slightly more stable position. It was as if those legs had lost solidity, all co-ordination. Beckett may have laughed in a different situation. In this one, she couldn't even bring herself to hate him.

She turned to Ryan and Esposito, indicated Castle with a sideways nod of her head then took a few paces forward and settled onto her haunches, one hand reaching gently to settle on Yglesias' shoulder. She made no other movement or sound, was content to wait until the paramedics arrived, knowing at that point she would probably have to assist them in prising Victor's arms away from his final embrace of his partner. She needed to conserve her energy for that - and to counter Yglesias' most likely reaction if his feelings ran in the same direction that hers probably would if she were now the one cradling the person who was supposed to have her back until the wheels fell off.

Once she heard slight movement behind her and Esposito's forcefully muttered "Not a word until we're outside", she allowed her head to droop. She stared beyond the concrete at her feet. Her breathing was slow.

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><p>Once reinforcements arrived to make a full sweep of the warehouse and the paramedics had taken both Detective Yglesias and Detective Loach away to their next destinations, Detective Katherine Beckett of the 12th Precinct NYPD allowed herself a minute alone. Shortly, she would be facing her precinct Captain and giving her account of the fiasco that had transpired. Later, if she were fortunate, she would be sitting with Margarite, accepting her anger or her tears, letting her know that while Kate's own loss - the entire precinct's loss - was nowhere near as great as Margarite's, it was still a loss and a piece of everybody's heart had been excised. Between those two times, she thought she would be talking to Castle. She couldn't feel enough to be angry with him.<p>

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><p>Castle leant against the wall, staring at the ground, breathing slowly through his mouth as Esposito and Ryan stood silent and out of his sight while Beckett explained to Captain Montgomery that it was her fault, she had not fully explained the danger non-trained personnel bring to the team, she did not ensure that Castle understood where her concerns were truly focused, she should never even have brought him along to the raid site - orders be damned. Castle tried to interrupt twice but a not-entirely-hostile snarl from Esposito and a threatening growl from Montgomery silenced him. He could make it worse. Not for... why did he never find out that officer's name? It could never be worse for him. But his words - his lifeline - he could make it worse for others.<p>

When Kate finished her explanation, Montgomery told her IAD would meet her at the precinct that afternoon and 1PP would need a written report before end of shift tonight. Kate nodded, glanced at Esposito then walked toward her car. Castle started to follow but Montgomery stepped quickly in front of him, gazed into his eyes, spoke in a not-furious voice. "You do know it's over, right?" He didn't even feel contempt.

Castle stared. Too many thoughts and no thoughts at all collided. The sound of Beckett's heels drifted to his ears, receding. He zagged around Montgomery, rushed across the concrete. "Kate!" She turned to him, looked into his eyes. There was no steel. There was no shroud. She didn't care enough to hide. After a few moments silence her heels started clacking on concrete again. They stopped when she was at her car.

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><p>Heat Wave Dedication: To the extraordinary KL.<p> 


End file.
